Sunday, 8 July 2012

TV Eye




(The Stooges - TV Eye)

The Robbins family were sitting with egg, chips and beans watching Saturday evening family TV when the TV said, "Hello to the Robbins family!" and Mrs Robbins nearly threw her tray across the room.

"Hope you're enjoying your meal!" the TV said, and Mr Robbins stood up, not quite knowing what to do, and then Davey said "Mam, Dad, we're on one of those hidden camera things," and laughed with delight, and baby Sarah laughed along too like she always did.

"God," Mrs Robbins said, and one hand clutched at her chest to show her shock, and the other hand went up to her hair to make sure that it was tidy.

"Like Noel Edmonds," Mr Robbins said, and Mrs Robbins laughed and said, "Well I never," and Davey said, "Who?"

"Please don't be alarmed," the TV said. "I didn't mean to startle you," and they all looked around for the camera, but they couldn't find it.

"I wonder how long it's been there, it could have been there for days" Davey said, and he didn't notice his parents turn to each other and blush deep red.

"Bang out of order," his dad said. "Spying on people without their permission."

"It's just a laugh, Dad," Davey said, but Mrs Robbins had started to cry now, and baby Sarah cried along too like she always did, and Mr Robbins got angrier and angrier and in the end he marched over to the TV and pulled out the power cord, and then for good measure pulled out the aerial too. Davey was disappointed, but didn't dare say anything.

"There," Mr Robbins said, breathing heavily. "There. I'm going to put in a complaint."

"There's no need to get nasty," the TV said, and they all turned around and stared at it. "I was just trying to be friendly." And it lifted itself up on its four metal legs, and it shuffled round and turned its back on them, facing into the corner.

"Now look what you've done," the radio in the kitchen said, and the kettle tutted in agreement.

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